Ironies of life

10 reasons why my life is a joke sometimes:

1. In Pri 3, I wanted to be a lawyer, but decided that being a fashion merchandiser will make me happier

2. I ended up being a stewardess, so that I can pay off my school loans faster.

I hated the feeling of being in debt.

3. Halfway through my contract, I wanted to switch to Japan Airlines, so that my 1.5 year of learning Japanese will not be wasted.

4. But I decided to stay on, so that I can get the gratuity after 5 years of service. 

A decision I wish I had reversed.

5. I spent a month to do up what I thought was the most perfect CV, and scoured the classifieds for "management trainee" positions.

I never once submitted my CV, though a girl friend found mine "inspirational" and got her research job with a MNC, by that.

I'm happy for her, really. For a stewardess to quit and get a great office job, it's like 終于上岸了！

6. Somewhere in between, I started a dim sum venture that flopped in 3 months and almost got into a legal tussle.

7. I ended up quitting so that I can study.

8. A year later, much to my reluctance, Tian Fen Lan was born. 

I think I'm probably the most unwilling blogshop owner around.

9. Now, my whole life (+ house space) is centred around Tian Fen Lan.

So much that I don't have time for ANYTHING else. Not even my personal life.

10.  My studies (+ my skin+my home) is a mess. And I'm so far away from my dream. 

Working 12 hours a day for TFL is taking a toil on me.

Working on it alone is even more draining. 

I envy other owners who are in it with their best friends or close sisters.

If only I do. But my husband said a perfectionist like me would never be able to work with anyone. 

That's why he refused to help me more e.g. quitting his day job, despite me pestering him. 

He said our working styles were too different, although I wonder if all I wanted is the best, what is so wrong about it? =/

I had received emails or Facebook messages from people who are keen to be TFL's shareholders or part-time staff. 

Yes, I would love to hire help, but I do not have a office to hold everyone.

I did have 2 packers before who worked with me for a year. 

They are efficient workers in general, but being in a teenage stage, angst is a bit too common.

Maybe next time if I do hire, I should get aunties. 

I find them more reliable, having hired them before during my short-lived dim sum venture.

 

The random thoughts that fleet past before I sleep everyday:

1. How many more emails need more following up?

2. Enough funds for more manufactured stocks?

3. Enough time to pack the parcels tomorrow?

4. Is it time to submit more designs?

5. What time must I wake up to finish everything in time?

6. When's the next launch going to be? Will the stocks arrive by then?

7. I think it's time to clean the house/toilet/kitchen/service yard.

8. It's weekend, should I cook? I won't have enough time for the mails, if I do.

But it's not fair to Joseph, if I don't.

9. Jeez, lessons tomorrow, and I'm not prepared. 

10. Gasp! It's 6:30am!! Must sleeeeeep!

Sometimes, I get emails from other girls who shared with me how they feel inspired by me leaving my comfort zone and Tian Fen Lan as a whole.

I think, apart from being a model/singer/actress/stewardess/popular blogger, being a blogshop owner has also make it to the list of dream jobs for many girls out there.

It's flattering, honestly. Because when compared to the big blogshops, Tian Fen Lan is like a nursery kid. 

My previous occupation was often a conversation starter.
There were many people, be it guys or gals, regardless of age, who are always keen to learn more about my job. 

Given its association with 5-star hotels, free globetrotting, tailor-made kebayas, impeccable grooming, seemingly easy job with high pay, I can understand people's curiosity. 

But no, it's not glamorous in any way. 

When you are with a airline, that prides itself being No. 1 in service, all the money we raked in are hard-earned money, I can assure you.

A day flight to London is about 13 hours and there's this saying: "We 'walked' all the way to London."

Taking a breather can be that rare.

My monthly off days come up to only 11 days, which means for two third of the month, I would be flying around.

I did not like being away that much, honestly.

And you know what?

Now, it feels the same way with being a blogshop owner. 

I'm often 'away', burrowed in my mails/parcels/stocks.

The irony of my life.

Metta,

欣雨 Xinyu