hen I was in NUS, we had to do cross-faculty modules. I chose Confuician Studies in Arts Faculty, if I remember the subject name correctly. It was taught in English, much to my disappointment (and horror). How on earth can we grasp the essence, when it was originally in Chinese?
The textbook I had was titled Analects of Confucious, 論語. A Penguin English paperback, I think.
Once, we were given a writing assignment, where we were to pick one topic out of a few given. All the topics were based on the Analects. I chose the famous: 人之初，性本善或惡？ Well, of course, the title was in English. But I cannot recall (refuse to recall such noble quotes in English) how it should be like in English. I am a lousy essay writer, when it comes to such logical deductions and literative skill. This topic was the only one I felt I could handle. Others were, erm, too profound.
I find it profound because I have missed so many of the tutorials, due to part-time work & CCAs. If time can be rewind, I would not take up so many CCAs and part-time work. Till now, I still wish I devoted more time to my studies. CCAs were fun but not being able to score as well as I could is still a regret that I have.
I wrote that 人之初，性本惡, as what Mencius, 孟子, said. There were literary debates that human nature is good with examples like if you see a baby sitting on a fence, and about to fall off, it would be an instinct to charge forward and save the baby. But what if this baby is not a stranger, but a child of your enemy, your step-sister (and you detest your step mum who ill-treat you) or the fruit of the love between your husband and his mistress etc?
Will the good side truimph over the bad side? Even if it did, will there be no negative feelings in the aftermath? The human mind is very complex, with many active and latent layers of feelings & experiences. Most of the time, we think we know who we are and what we want to do. But at times, when something happens, the emotions that are dormant all along suddenly rise to be the persona that we never expect ourselves to be.
I cannot recall what I wrote in my essay. But it was along the line of the example I shared above. I got a C+. There was this big wording scribbled at the end of my essay: LATE. Ahem, I was late in submitting my essay. =(
After so many years, I still find this topic intriguing, be it from the Confucian, Mencius' or Buddhist point of view. Even though I believed in what I wrote, I felt there was a missing link to all this explanation of why a good person can have elements of 'bad-ness' in him, and vice versa. I did not know how to express it in words.
人之初，性本善?
人之初，性本惡?
It was not until I read the Dharma discourse by this great Buddhist practitioner, then I really got the answer to my hidden question all these years.He said,
“人之初，性混屯
(I hope I got the Chinese phrase correct.)
Eureka! It is the perfect answer and pieces all the seemingly conflicting facts together effortlessly! If only I thought of that! See! I told you I am bad at writing such essays!
was never a fan of Jay Chou. But there was this girlfriend of mine who had been his die-hard fan since uni days. She had this very cool demeanour, but mention Jay Chou, you would never believe how she will morph into this little starstruck girl, swooning and coddling about him. It was very hard for me to fathom how she found him to be of marriageable material.
Well, it was until my TFL days (because I played YouTube videos in the background, while replying emails), then I began to see the talent in this musician. A bit slow, I know. Even my teenage nieces were obsessed with him. Till now, I have yet to see any other singer who have sang on such myriad topics and hey, Jay Chou composed most his own songs.
How he composed a melody on the spot based on 2-3 random keys:
I like the 3rd melody most! It reminds me of Secret Garden.
Rekindles my dream of learning piano.
Jacky Wu is really funny to come up with such ridiculous lyrics.
After watching this:
and this:
Not many male, or even female, singers have MVs based on such themes.
I wonder if Jay Chou is a believer of reincarnation (前世今生).
y growing up years were filled with a lot of ambition in my mind, thinking that I would be someone great.
In primary school, I was dead set about becoming a lawyer.
In secondary school, I toyed with the idea of becoming a policewoman solving crime mysteries (must be the TVB police series my dad always watched). Somewhere along the way, my grades foiled my lawyer dream, you see.
In junior college, I knew for sure I wanted to go into the fashion industry. Being a fashion merchandiser would make me happy & utilise my fortes, I thought. The determination was so strong that I researched all the fashion colleges at that time to see what was good for me.
I was gaga over Fann Wong at that time (still is), and knowing that she hailed from LaSalle and how chic she always seemed to me, I thought this was it. But the course only offered a diploma. Heck, I was in a very major dilemma at that time. Thought about this issue for weeks, weighed the pros and cons, but there was a strong deciding factor.
I wanted to be a degree holder. Dead bent on it since 7. So, I went into NUS Bizad, majoring in Marketing, thinking that it was the closest choice to a Fashion Merchandising Course. I thought not having the relevant industrial contacts was a major con. Much time was spent conceiving plans about how to barge into the fashion industry when I graduate.
But life never turns out the way I planned.
During my schooling years, I took up almost every part-time job one could think of. In chronological order:
Dessert seller inside a 7-Eleven store at the now-defunct World Trade Center
My first part-time job at 14.
One of my most loved jobs to date, because I got to eat my favourite green bean soup, and get Coca-cola from the dispenser!
You have no idea how much I love this.
photo credits: slashfood.com
Door-to-door selling
Answered to a rather misleading ad placed in Classifieds.
Peddled useless toys. I quited after 1 day. Hated persistent selling.
Administrative assistant at PTC This is a photo-copier servicing and rental company. I never knew such services existed till I got into this company for 3 months, through an employment agency, after my O-Levels.
Toothbrush promoter
It's not just any toothbrush, but one with interchangeable brush head! I spent many weekends at Guardians and Shop & Save supermarkets, throwing toothbrushes on the floors, just to show how sturdy the heads are.
Talk about recycling...hehe.
Banquet waitress at Crowne Plaza
I am not very good at cutting up a fish, even after half a year.
Let's not talk about how once, the fish head ended up one side of the table, and the fish tail at the other side.
Barista at Coffee Club Express & Coffee Bean
For 1 year.
I think this is where I started liking western food more.
Burritos at Coffee Club Express rocks! I love the sandwiches & Ice Choc Blended at Coffee Bean! But till now, I still regret not working at Starbucks. The pay was so much higher!
Administrative Executive at SingTel My full-time temporary job for 6 months, after my A-Levels. Learnt a lot of new PC skills, like MS Office especially Excel and my first time working under a Caucasian boss. Buying affordable work clothes was so DIFFICULT! Even S$30 for a clothing seemed a lot at that time. I still remember the kind admin. lady who is always on hand to guide me - Sandra. I wonder how she is now.
In my uni days:
Survey Interviewer
Street surveys, door-to-door surveys (combing HDB blocks during dinner time is no joke), phone surveys and focus group facilitators. Apart from tutoring, this is the next best paying part-time job!
Tuition teacher
Aaah...the perks of being an undergrad. I can now earn more $ in an hour!
But honestly, I do not think I am ever a good tutor to my 4 students.
I can tutor much better now than last time! Guess taking on too many jobs makes me a tired tutor.
Model
Only lasted for a short 1 year, before I graduated and needed a full-time job with stable pay
This was fun, though getting to the castings were really expensive (cab fares to 'ulu' places!)
I wish I started earlier, and maybe I would have an even 'fatter' portfolio.
This is the only full time job I had ever held, and it lasted for 6 long years. But well, it paid my uni school loans faster than my peers could. So yes, I am still grateful for that.
Somewhere in the middle of my working life, I was a smart alec and started a food business. Spent 6 months planning for it & dealing with some underhanded people. But the food kiosk folded within 3 months. Lost tens of thousands. I tell myself, NEVER would I do the same foolish thing again.
So yes, I never got close to my fashion guru+stylist+merchandiser ambition. Nowhere close. It hurts, honestly. Seeing the world is a dream for so many young ladies, but it was never mine.The furthest I ever wanted to go was to London and be a fashion intern for Topshop.
It took me a lot of courage to say bye-bye to a a fat paycheck. But I wanted so badly to pursue my religious studies (oh yes, that's another strong interest I have!). Timely advice from my trusty geomancer gave me the "It's-now-or-never" go ahead.
For 1 whole year, I was sort of jobless and lived off my savings. Oh, I almost forgot there is one more job to my resume!
Relief teacher
For 1 year, I taught lower primary school children at 3 neighbouring schools.
They are such a joy to be with, but not when they tried to be funny with me.
I am a very strict teacher, hehehe.
A little souvenir from my teaching days
The same Master that I seeked advice from told me that I could start a blog shop. And I was like, huh? My siblings had started PolkaDotPigs at that time and though I do envy them (hey, it's fashion!!), I never thought that one day, I will do the same.
So as not to cannibalise one another, I started a blog shop selling bags. Got a very nice name & auspicious date from my geomancer and there, Tian Fen Lan is born on 4th Nov 2008.
It was the toughest job I have ever done. What a struggling 2 years it had been! Good gracious! I can die a zillion times just by learning how to use Gimp & HTML coding. Well, I am still not very good at it, as you can see from the pathetic site.
The 1st TFL web banner. Spent a week on it and there are at least 10 versions before I was okay with it.
Okay, I digressed a little. Back to my point, though I am sort of one step into the fashion industry albeit online & in the comfort of my PJs, I still feel I am not quite near my ambition and I did not turned out to be someone great either.
Doing TFL was a great turnaround for my life, though support from my family was not there when I started. You read about all those online ads that claim to provide you with work-at-home opportunities and hey, I am really working at home now! All I need is a laptop! Well, no one mentioned the long hours stuck to it.
There are times when I wonder how it would be like to craving a corporate career like my peers. Many of them are holding managerial positions and their business wear are so to-die-for! Will I be able to make it? I study so much only to be working in my PJs?
2 years had whizzed by. I am thankful that I can survived even till now, frankly speaking. Blog shop competition is really nothing to laugh about. There are so many times I feel like " 完了，完了，完了！慘了，慘了，慘了！". But 2 years on Tian Fen Lan also mean I had neglected other areas of my life. Areas that I feel it is of utmost importance to me, and I am not willing to give up.
Entering into the 3rd year, I will be steering TFL towards a new direction. I do not know if it is really the right thing to do. Having done businesses twice, I learnt that you can never be 100% sure when making decisions.
Like what my husband preaches:
"You make a decision based on what you know and think it's the most logical at that time.
But the moment the environment changes, new factors come into play.
Suddenly, what was most logical then became the silliest decision you have ever made."
I have done plenty of that in the course of running Tian Fen Lan. I sure hope to do better in the 3rd year and many more years to come. If you had been/going to be my customer, thank you for staying with me all this while!
hen I was in NUS, we had to do cross-faculty modules. I chose Confuician Studies in Arts Faculty, if I remember the subject name correctly. It was taught in English, much to my disappointment (and horror). How on earth can we grasp the essence, when it was originally in Chinese?
y growing up years were filled with a lot of ambition in my mind, thinking that I would be someone great. 
