My mum's 56th birthday

 If you have read my older post, you might have known that my mum and I did not speak for a while because of my career choice.

Actually, it was more of like 2-3 years. 

There were too many things that we couldn't agree on.

Since young, the relationship & communication between my mum & I have always been testy. 

Things took a turn for the worse when I quitted my full-time job but not for something better, in her eyes.

During that time, the Husband acted as our middle man.

My mum will text him stuff like, "Bring your wife for my birthday party this Saturday" or "CNY reunion dinner 6pm, ask your wife to come".

From "my daughter", I have become "your wife".

To be precise, I actually only visited my mum once a year, the first day of Lunar New Year.

I would buy all the CNY goodies and give it to the Husband to send it to my mum before CNY. 

I never went up to her place. 

Because I know once we start conversing, we will start disagreeing. Again.

We don't talk on the phone either.

Recently, after this year CNY's reunion dinner, we started talking more. 

I think the growing success of Tian Fen Lan helps mend things. 

Or maybe because I started sharing more of my difficulties I had in doing TFL these few years, then my mum began feeling sympathetic, thinking "Aiyo, my poor daughter!". Hahaha!

 On one Saturday in March, I put off my work (it is very hard to pull me away from my work) and went for a buffet dinner to celebrate my mum's birthday.

I was the one who initiated celebrating her birthday with a buffet dinner.

My mum even exclaimed, "Wah, so rare of you to open your mouth and ask!"

I think she muttered something about buying lottery too in the same breath.

The last time I was present at my mum's birthday celebration was 4 years ago.

One thing about my mum is she has MANY friends. So much that her birthday celebrations are always in series. 

Saturday, group A. Sunday, group B. Monday, group C. Tuesday (actual day), group D.

Not forgetting the bountiful amounts of well-wishes/cakes/presents she receives.

Did I mention that during my wedding dinner, 30 tables are set aside for my mum? 

Relatives from my side took up only 10 tables or less. The Husband's side occupied 10-12 tables.

The rest are her friends. 

My first night's wedding dinner

I'm just as amazed as you. Never knew my mum has that many friends till my wedding dinner. 

She even invited her ge-tai emcee & singer friends to perform on stage, to liven up the dinner. 

There were people dancing cha-cha at the space below the stage.

I would be sitting down at my table and hearing cheers of 'Yummmmmm-seng!' going around the ballroom. 

It was my mum toasting her friends. Without me, the bride or my husband, the bridegroom.

Well, it did make my life easier in a way.

My wedding dinner spawned over 2 nights. The 2nd night was exclusively for our (my Husband & my) friends. (-_^)

So I was in group A for Mum's birthday celebration.

I brought along CLEO April's issue to show Mum TFL's on it!

The first thing she asked when she read the feature was, "How much did you pay for it?"

No, Mum, I did not buy ad space! I suppose they like Tian Fen Lan so it's on CLEO.

Then she nonchalantly passed the magazine back to me and said, "I think Shin Min is better" 

Die-hard fan. Sigh, so not the response I was hoping for. -__-

At my mum's wishes, we went to Grand Copthorne hotel for the buffet dinner. 

Most people go to buffets for the sashimi, oysters, prawns and other seafood, but not me.

I don't take raw meat nor too much seafood, ever since during my teenage years, I have a tendency to grow cysts in my eyelids and had 2 operations to remove the cysts (tens of them in both eyes!). 

The eye surgeon did say the problem would go away after I grew up. It did, but since then I have a habit of abstaining from seafood.

Here's my favourite stations at every buffet:

 I love bread with soup! Not the Gardenia/Sunshine bread, but bread rolls/slices with grains!

Brio had mutton soup that day too, but that is not my cup of 'soup'.

Isn't the cheese display creative? Brio is one of the very rare restaurants to label each cheese by its name.

I like the acrylic display for its hygiene and the glass jar with a lid for keeping the crackers crispy!

Most of the time, cheese are just laid on a wooden board for all to 'breathe down' at it and crackers are displayed in the open air.

Even at Marina Mandarin Melts Cafe, Fullerton's Town restaurant & Shangri-La The Line. Soggy crackers, anyone?

Ooooh, salads are my favourite!! And they have Caesar's salad!! <3 <3 <3

Once at Fullerton's Town restaurant, I requested for the chef to poach the salmon sashimi, since I don't take raw food. The sashimi looked so fresh that I was very sure that it would taste good when cooked

He even added some Japanese dip to it and boy, it tasted heavenly!

The Husband was sceptical of my request initially, but once he tried it, he was bought over too!

Think we had about 20-25 slices of the poached salmon.

Next time, I am going to request for poached salmon sashimi to go with the salad!

 Creme brulee, panna cotta, chocolate mousse, all served in shot glasses. Pity they do not taste as good as they look

This is my first time seeing Muah Chee at a hotel buffet. Never try it but I saw several people going for it.

The chocolate fondue station! Favourite!

My grandaunt (the one on the left photo) is single and 71 years old. She has hardly been to such places for a nice dinner. 

Think it was her first time trying out the chocolate fondue.

I was a smart alec and got her a plate of freshly-cooked pasta with ham & mushroom during the buffet.

It is one of my favourite dishes. My mum chided me saying that my grandaunt would not be used to such western cuisine.
True enough, grandaunt only took 1-2 mouthfuls of the pasta and we had to finish the rest.

Then it dawned on me that despite all my self-professed knowledge of the world, I had no idea what would truly make my grandaunt happy.

I used to give my grandmother monthly pocket money. After she passed away, I wanted to give that monthly allowance to my grandaunt. But she refused and jokingly asked me to keep it till she needed it.

She does not get any allowance from any one in the family and still works as a office cleaner. 

Years ago, when she discovered a tumour in her, she went for the operation without troubling any one or asking for financial help.

I am in awe of her independence. 

 

I asked my grandaunt how she celebrated her birthday and she said she used to go over to my grandma's place with a cake-仔 (that's how she described the small cake she bought) and cooked for both of them. But after my grandmother passed away, she did not do so anymore.

I have since noted down my grandaunt's birthday. 

I hope to do something for her this year. Every year onwards.

 Back to the buffet! 

It is not the best I had, but with the Ala-carte card that my mum had, it was a really good deal.

The Ala-carte card  has a whole list of dining & privilege benefits, hosted by the Millenium & Copthorne group.

There were 4 of us - my mum, my grandaunt, my husband & I.

My mum had 1 Ala-Carte card, secretly applied one for my husband (collected the card from the concerige just before we entered the restaurant) and they had this offer of 50% off the bill if a member brings 1 friend.

So 4 of us paid for only 2 persons. Such great savings!!

I have never heard of the Ala-carte card till my mum mentioned it. Gasp, where have I been?

So the Husband has a free Main card, while my mum sponsored me with a Partner card too, meant for spouses of the Main card.

Question is, why am I not getting the Main card instead?

Yes, all privileges that the Main card holder has apply to the Partner card holder too. But still!

And my mum puts down TFL's email for the Ala-carte members' email updates. -__-

Mum, TFL's email is meant for TFL's stuff!

There is this whole chunk of information and benefits that I have not gotten down to reading. 

Over dinner, Mum was telling me how worthwhile the card is, despite the hefty application fee as we get these vouchers/benefits etc.

You can read more about the card's benefits here.

We have 2 2D1N vouchers and I just realise that I can use it at Studio M! Muahahah!

I stayed there once last year, and though I am not a hotel-stay fan (lived out of my luggage for 6 years and hotels just no longer entice me), I like its loft concept and a loooong work table + free WIFI for me to reply to TFL's mails!

Now, I'm beginning to like the card. =)

During the dinner, I was casually whining to the Husband for getting me so little chocolate-coated strawberries. He insisted that I finished what was on my plate first.

Then my mum came back with a plate of 4 chocolate-coated strawberries. =D

But that's not all that she gave me that night.

Ketchup from a brand I have never heard of + a pink knife with instructions on manipulating your vegetables to look adorable + plastic containers of Mum's 盆菜 for me to steam myself & grandaunt's braised mushroom with fa cai (Mum knows my favourite dishes).

Both the Husband & I thought the knife had a pink plastic film.
When I tried tearing it, then I realised the knife was supposed to be PINK indeed, complete with a pink handle. Gasp!

Now I wonder if the star & heart cut-outs on the blade have a use for it too.

I'm not sure if I want to use this knife though. I worry the colour coating will peel off eventually when in use, like how my red chopsticks did.

On the actual day of Mum's birthday, I ordered 12 cupcakes from Room for Desserts.

I have been having their cakes for at least 5-6 years.

To me, they have the best cupcakes in Singapore!

Some might find their cupcake designs plain, but I would rather bite into a delicious cupcake than to have my mouth all covered with decorative buttercream and bland cupcakes.

It is fascinating that the shop can survived & even make a name for itself by selling just a few flavours for the past half decade.
Remind me of Jane's Cake Station along Jalan Kayu. She only sells Chocolate & Durian cakes.
I'm even more entralled when I see the opening hours of Room for Desserts.
Now, imagine if I can work like that.....aaah...

 The Husband collected the cupcakes in the afternoon and sent it to my mum's office, as a surprise.

6 mini carrot cupcakes + 6 mini choc-a-lot cupcakes, with a customised message. <3

But alas, Mum did not like the walnuts in the carrot cakes. She only like the chocolate cupcakes and the cream cheese frosting on the carrot cupcakes.

All these years, I did not know my mum only eats chocolate cakes. Gosh!

At least she found the cupcakes pretty and it was her first time having birthday cupcakes. =))

She sounded real happy on the phone when she called me upon the cupcakes delivery.

It has been a very long while since I talk so regularly to my mum. She calls me every other day nowadays.

Having been on my own for so long, I am learning to get used to it and try not to think of it as naggy sometimes. =P

You might wonder what prompted me to celebrate my mum's birthday this year. 

During CNY, she was mentioning to me on how happy she was celebrating her 55th birthday last year.

She had a mega celebration of 20 tables at a Chinese restaurant.

And then she told me that she would be happy to die at 60 years old, having lived life this far and this much.

This is not the first time I hear her saying it but I have not heard this for so long.

That's 4 years from now. I could feel my heart break when she uttered that.

Over the buffet dinner, she was showing me all the 200+ photos in her camera - her overseas trips with friends, her birthday celebrations, her favourite purchases/clothes, the meals she has at nice restaurants etc.
 In true Cantonese motherly fashion, she reminded me to eat 1-2 Sunkist oranges everyday to look young like her, add wolfberries in the soups I boil to have no farsightedness like her, abstain from Coca-cola, sleep early so that I can wake up early to do all the things I want, keep the home clean & neat, cook in the weekends for my husband and must have soup every home-cooked meal for supple skin.
She repeated a few times, asking why I need to work such long hours and even work through the night, not like I earn hundreds of thousands from selling bags etc and said I'm going to age very fast at the rate I work etc etc etc.

Since young, I have always looked up to Mum. I think of her as a very strong, capable, resourceful & independent woman. Many friends & relatives have told us that I look just like my mum in her younger days.
True enough, when I saw Mum's black & white photos taken in her twenties, I thought I was looking at myself. Even my husband can't stop exclaiming about the similarity.
Often heard, "Gosh, you are of the same cookie cutter mould as your mum indeed!" Haha!
Looks aside, I did also inherit many of Mum's characteristics.
But no matter how much or how hard I work, I always feel I can NEVER hold a candle to Mum.

My mum had a very turbulent life. I know she went through a lot to bring me up.
Now that I hit my thirties, I then truly realise & empathise what Mum has gone through.
Looking at all her recent photos, I am really very happy that she's enjoying life now. 

And I don't want her to leave at age 60.

There is so much more of life that I wish to show her. That I wish for her to share with me.
I still hope that one day she will be proud of the path I have chosen and the success I can achieve.
All by myself, Mum. Just like how you embarked on a new career all by yourself at age 40 when all odds were against you then.

Don't be like me. 

Even if you think & everybody agree with you that your mum is wrong, don't neglect her like me.

We have no right to.

我們不一定還有明天來説對不起。

Metta,
欣雨 Xinyu